Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
