he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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