I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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