Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
