i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
