She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
