do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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