dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
