last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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