me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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