hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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