The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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