Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tell your sister to shave her snatch
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
