I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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