About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
