I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
