he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize