yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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