I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
