Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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