u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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