Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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