so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
