so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
