Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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