fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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