Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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