Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I will die if light touches me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
