my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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