She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
