We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
