yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
