There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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