uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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