I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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