Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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