I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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