you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
