cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
love makes seman taste better
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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