sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
