so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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