Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
