Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
