quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
