no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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