a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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