I want to make a zoo with you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
