I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
