i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
