escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
