I want to stick my p in your. b.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
