and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Damn victory sex feels great
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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