On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
