I cockslap morals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
