no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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