he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
