Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
