i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
