I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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