Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
God, I missed his penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
