Buhtt sex?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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