Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
