I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
