well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
