planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
