i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
