you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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