But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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